Hurt.

 Assalamualaikum…

As I’ve predicted, it’s all seemed too good to be true when everything seemed nearly perfect a few weeks ago. Turns out he’s not really that into me. Hahaha jokes on me though for always falling for a guy who’s got cold feet when I showed my slightest interest in them!

I’ve grown quite tired and weary though. I mean, for how long should I be in this talking phase without moving on to the next phase? It’s always been like that. I just wish for once that a guy would approach me first and stayed being interested in me without the feelings fade away over time. I mean, am I that horrible to love? Is it such a bad thing to fall in love with me?

Maybe I should focus more on trying to be a better person, instead of waiting for some guy to see my worth for once. To truly see me beyond my ugly face and somewhat okay personality. I mean, I’m not really a terrible person. I often smile to strangers and I think I’m nice enough when I’m with my friends and family. Maybe I need to improve a lot more on my social skills, since I’m quite an introvert.

As for that Mexican guy, I’ll continue being my accommodating self to him for a while. I mean, I’d slowly stop sending him a certain emoji and just send a neutral emoji instead, totally masking how I truly feel about him. It really hurts me inside when I don’t get the same energy that I’m giving. That’s the problem though; I’m expecting something from him when in fact, I should just let things go with the flow. Maybe I should do that starting from tomorrow. No more expecting any reciprocate feelings from him because I know it will never happen anyway.

Surely my happiness is the main priority here. I mean, I’ve been putting other people first, so I think it’s finally time to start putting myself first for once. If people can’t seem to take it, it’s totally fine by me. Only then will I know their true self. It’s better this way though, so that I can weed out any fake friends from my life.

XO