Heartache.

 Assalamualaikum..

I’m feeling melancholy at the moment, thinking of E.A.H. (my acronym for the Mexican guy). I really miss our sweet chats  and voice calls and movie dates on Discord. He’s quite busy nowadays with work, so we hadn’t really been doing any of that lately.

However, he did tell me that he’s been hooking up with several girls from Tinder recently and it really hurts me deep inside. I mean, I’m pretty sure that NOBODY is okay with the person that they really like has been hooking up with some other girls. I appreciate him telling me all that but it still hurts nonetheless. 

Well, we have too many differences between us anyway and it sucks BIG time. He kept on saying that if things were different and we live near to each other, he would’ve want me to be his girl. To be honest, I just don’t know what to believe anymore. I keep telling myself that things will never worked out between us, but my heart hurts so bad..

I wanted to tell him all this but I’m afraid that he’s not gonna talk to me anymore if I do that. I know it’s twisted but I’m still yearning for him.. so stupid, right? 🙃

Why can’t I find someone who genuinely likes me and wanting to get to know me better? I just want to have someone to call my own, someone who understands me and my weird personality. Someone who won’t his turn back on me whenever I’m not feeling good about myself. Someone who is patient with me and accepts all my flaws.

Is that too much that I’m asking for? Maybe I am destined to be alone forever..

XO