A new day.

Assalamualaikum...

It's been too long since I last wrote in here. To be honest, I was so lazy to write anything. However, starting today InsyaAllah, I will try and write an entry once a day, to try and keep track of anything that's happening around me.

Last night, I've impulsively deleted the Twitter and Instagram apps from my phone (but I didn't deactivate my accounts). The main reason is because I was too reliant on those apps to be honest. Not that I'm actually conversing with anyone from there, it's just that I've noticed that those were the apps that I open the most everyday, starting from when I wake up until the moment I'm about to sleep. Personally, I think it is quite toxic. Therefore, I chose to delete the apps, hoping that I can somewhat curbed my addiction to those apps. It's only been Day 1, so here's hoping that I can resist the temptation for as long as I can.

Secondly, nowadays I'm back into reading. I've purchased so many books, subscribed to several webtoons and downloaded tons of e-books. Hopefully I can read them all during these school holidays (in between unpacking stuff at our new school and all).

Recently I started watching Thai dramas and some of them are good enough that I've binge-watching them over the weekends. Such a nice way to spend my time indoor hahahaha. And since I've had my fill of the dramas, I'm gonna start reading all those unread books and no more buying new ones until I'm finished with the existing ones. 

Oh, I'm also gonna start doing the Intermittent Fasting (IF) as I feel like I'm getting fatter by the minute T_T wish me luck!

I guess that's all for today. InsyaAllah tomorrow I will write again. See ya!

XO

Melancholy.

Assalamualaikum..

Oh my it's been so long since my last post here. So many things happened and I just don't know where to begin.

Okay, first of all, we are now under Movement Control Order (MCO), which means that everyone must stay at home except to buy food/groceries. And only 1 person can go out to buy them for each households. The reason is because the whole world right now is experiencing the COVID-19 pandemic. So it's been a month since I last go to work, physically anyway. I still need to work from home, arranging online classes for my students and whatnot.

As for my "so-called" love life, things are progressing quite slowly. And up to this point, I no longer care anymore. If he wants me, then he will definitely take the next step, right? I'm quite tired actually, and it's not like I can force him to do something that he doesn't want to do, right? So yeah, if he truly sees me as his future partner, then he's got to make the first move. All I can do now is wait patiently.

What else? Oh! I've decided not to rant on Twitter starting today. I even deleted the app from my phone. It's not like I have anything important in there anyway. And besides, people who are close to me has my number, so they can contact me via text message/phone call. And that's all that matters. I will no longer tweet something, because I can always pour my heart out here.

Until next time, stay home and stay safe!

XO

Dilemma..?

Assalamualaikum..

Hey there, it's me again. I know it's been a while since I last wrote in here. Kinda feels like I've forgotten that I have a blog hehe.. Oh well, I'm about to rant about the things that's been on my mind lately. I think you can already guess what it's about though. But in case you don't know, well it's about this new crush of mine (if I can even call him that).

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Okay, here's the thing; I already confessed to that guy from my previous post. And as times passed by, he seems kinda interested in me too. But somehow lately, he gave off this uncertain vibe about this whole thing. Sure, we've talked about a lot of personal stuff and whatnot, but I don't know.. it's been months already and up until now, I'm still unsure as to what he really feels about me. He is often ambiguous and vague whenever this topic comes up for discussion. Me being me, obviously I'm very insecure about it. I mean, I am not getting any younger and I cannot afford to wait much longer. And that's one more thing, he didn't even give me any indication that he wants me to wait for him. So, what am I supposed to do now? I cannot read minds. He should be clear with what he expects of me. So now I'm in a dilemma..

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The funny thing was, he didn't even tell anyone about me. It's like I'm such a dark secret, someone that is not that worthy to be revealed. And I feel so stupid because I've told several trusted people about him, including my mother. Since he seems very determined to keep me in the dark, I will no longer share anything about him to anyone. Like, ever. Why would I want to keep talking about him when he will never do the same about me?

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I guess I should know when to stop and move on but it's easier said than done. So I think I should slowly but surely try and get away from him. For instance, stop messaging him and only contact him for super important stuff. No more trying to make this work when I'm the only one making the efforts all this while. 

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XO